Zoë Harding-Carr – a wife’s story

“There is often a stigma that hospices are only for the older generation. This is why I wanted to share Danny’s story – to show others going through a similar experience that they are not alone and that hospices are for everyone,” said Zoë Harding-Carr, whose husband, Danny Carr, received support from the St Elizabeth Hospice and East Coast Community Healthcare (ECCH) healthcare partnership, at Beccles Hospital, until his death aged 40, in September 2025.

Since launching in April 2019, more than 7,000 patients and their families in Great Yarmouth and Waveney have been supported by the free specialist palliative care provided by the partnership of St Elizabeth Hospice and ECCH.

Typically living with conditions such as cancer, heart failure, chronic lung diseases – such as chronic obstructive pulmonary disease – and neurological disorders, these patients have received free care through the partnership’s varied, specialist palliative care provision available at Beccles Hospital, in the community and through the service’s 24-hour advice line, OneCall

“Danny was the best husband. From the moment we met, he treated me like a queen. Nothing was ever too much for me or for Summer, my daughter and his stepdaughter. He always went above and beyond for us,” explained Zoë, who lives in Lowestoft.

“He was always laughing and loved to make us laugh too. He cared deeply for our family, and his diagnosis never stopped him from showing up for us. He attended every event he could and was determined to live life to the fullest. He was many things, but above all he was the best stepdad and husband he could possibly be.

“Danny loved darts and football. He was a keen West Ham supporter which certainly had its moments in a house full of Tottenham fans!

“He also enjoyed watching The Chase and somehow always seemed to know the most random answers to the questions. Whenever we asked how he knew so much, he would simply smile and say, ‘I just do.’

“In March 2024, Danny was diagnosed with rectal cancer, which had spread to his liver. This came after a few weeks of stomach problems, and after days of trying, I finally persuaded him to go to A&E – though, true to form, he insisted he was fine.

“That day changed our world, as a CT scan revealed the cancer. During this time, Danny also had a stoma bag fitted. I remember how traumatic this was for him at first and he said he felt like he had lost his pride.

“However, it soon became part of everyday life, and he even showed it off with pride. Danny was an exceptionally proud man, a true old-school gentleman.

“He first came under the care of the hospice on 5 June 2025, when he stayed in one of their beds at Beccles Hospital for assessment and support. Danny even called it his ‘holiday home’, as the staff were so warm and welcoming.

“When he returned home, there were many new things I had to learn and prepare for. His first days back were both new and frightening for all of us, but we knew we had the support of the hospice whenever we needed it.

“Danny’s pain management was complex, and I quickly had to learn about multiple medications, timings, and what was effective. At that point, I took time off work to care for him full time. Together, Summer and I established a routine to make sure all of Danny’s needs were met.

“Danny returned to the hospice again after being admitted to James Paget Hospital with an infection. Unsure of his prognosis, we requested that his care continue at Beccles Hospital under the compassionate support of the St Elizabeth Hospice team.

“I really don’t know how to put into words the incredible care Danny received. The whole team were outstanding – not just to Danny, but to our family, and they continue to be. Nothing was ever too much for them, and they gave him the pride and dignity he deserved.

“I still pop into the hospice to say ‘hello’, and the doctors have checked in on us several times, especially during Christmas and on our first wedding anniversary on 1 February 2026. The team have guided me through the entire process, from Danny’s first visit to his last, and continue to do so.

“For us, the hospice was a lifeline and Danny chose it as the place where he wanted to spend his final moments. The staff made sure his wish was achieved and we are so grateful for this

“For our family, the hospice was something we were not aware of until we needed it. As I’ve mentioned, there is often a stigma that hospices are only for the older generation, and I want to help break that.

“I want to raise awareness that more younger people are being cared for by hospices, and that people can support these fantastic services in many different ways.

“For example, I’m taking on my first skydive for the hospice on Mother’s Day this year. It all came about as our first wedding anniversary approached. I asked Danny, ‘what am I going to do to celebrate?’

“Then I clicked on Facebook, and the first post I saw was about the hospice’s skydive. For me, it felt meant to be. Danny had always wanted to do a skydive, but time ran out. So I thought – what better way to honour his memory and raise money for an amazing charity than to throw myself out of a plane!

“I won’t lie, I’m nervous. But it feels like a fun, meaningful way to raise awareness and support a cause close to my heart. I know it will be an unforgettable experience for an incredible charity.”