Sandra & Peter’s Hospice Story

“There is no need to suffer in silence, St Elizabeth Hospice is there to help you, your loved one and your whole family during life’s most difficult moments,” explained Sandra Buckles, whose husband, Peter received support from St Elizabeth Hospice’s Community Team and OneCall service, before his death in 2023.

Annually, St Elizabeth Hospice cares for more than 4,000 patients and their families throughout East & Mid-Suffolk, Great Yarmouth and Waveney. This care sees the independent Suffolk charity providing free services – whenever and wherever it is needed, whether at home, in the community or at the hospice – to those living with a progressive or life-limiting illness.

“Peter and I shared a love of gardening and our Tibetan Terriers. He was a fantastic plantsman, in fact he worked at Notcutts for over 45 years and customers would often seek him out for his incredible knowledge.

“When he wasn’t working, you’d find him outside with the dogs, tending to the garden. It was his sanctuary,” said Sandra, who lives near Framlingham.

In 2019, after a number of hospital visits, Peter was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma and he spent ten days in hospital before returning home, and it was then that St Elizabeth Hospice first reached out.

“When they rang, Peter said no. He still associated the word ‘hospice’ with dying and wasn’t ready. However, his health declined over the years with Peter being diagnosed with an umbilical hernia and then prostate cancer in 2022.

“It was a very difficult time for us and our family. In August 2023, I then noticed Peter was confused and was no longer eating or drinking.

“I called 999 and Peter was brought into hospital for support, before being discharged twelve days later. After returning home, Peter was weak and unable to walk unaided.

“We desperately needed support and paramedics came in and they arranged with St Elizabeth Hospice, to come and visit.

“St Elizabeth Hospice took control of our situation and gave great reassurance with their expert compassionate care. They explained everything to us clearly and listened to our questions.

“On top of this, they quickly arranged for vital equipment to be delivered to our home the next morning to help make Peter more comfortable and mobile. From that moment on, St Elizabeth Hospice became our lifeline.

“They looked after Peter, and they looked after me. Their compassion, their calmness – they made me feel at ease.

“The team came three times a day, helping with everything from personal care to pain management, so all I had to focus on was being with Peter. Even our little dog Toby stayed by his side, and the hospice nurses adored Toby.

“On Saturday 7 October, one of the nurses gently called me into the room where Peter was, so I could be with him as he passed.

“The hospice team stayed with me until our friend Malcolm arrived – he’d been such a strength through it all. They made sure I wasn’t alone.

“After Peter’s death, the hospice’s support did not stop as I also received bereavement support through the LivingGrief service. In total, I had eight sessions and it helped me so much. I felt I could speak openly and not be judged. I’ll always be grateful.

“Looking back now, with our experience of hospice care, I wish Peter had accepted their help sooner as it made such a difference to us all.

“Before St Elizabeth Hospice’s support, I felt alone in trying to care for Peter as best I could. Once the hospice stepped in, I felt someone was looking out for me too – which meant everything to me and to my daughter Sam.

“I really would encourage people to reach out to St Elizabeth Hospice if you believe you or a loved one could benefit from their care. I would also urge people to continue supporting the charity – raising funds and awareness in any way they can.

“The hospice needs to raise so much money every year. You never know when you might need them, but they are always there for you.”