When someone we love dies...

You might feel a lot of different emotions and find it hard to express yourself...

Everyone's reactions are different and their reactions normal.

There's no 'right' or 'wrong' way to grieve - but we are here to help you.

Click on the image to the left to find out more!

Remember to get your sleep, food and drink...

Make sure you get enough sleep each night, and eat and drink throughout the day can help us feel more comfortable. If you are tired and hungry you are likely to feel quite grumpy or upset:

You may feel worried about other family members...

Try and talk to people about your worries, it can really help to share them, you might find people have the same worries and are able to help you with answering questions

Click on the image to the left to find out how you could share your thoughts!

There are lots of books, films and websites that can help too...

Click on the picture to the left to find a list of websites you may find helpful.


Anxiety is a very normal feeling to experience when a loved one is unwell and after a loved one has died and at times this may feel very intense.

Anxiety is the brain’s way of alerting us that something isn’t quite right- a bit like an alarm system.

Some symptoms of anxiety are:

  • Heart beating faster
  • Chest feeling tight
  • Difficulties concentrating properly
  • Restlessness, fidgeting, not being able to keep still
  • Difficulties sleeping
  • Reduced appetite
  • Tummy ache or feelings sick
  • Headaches
  • Going to the toilet more frequently
  • Feeling dizzy or faint
  • Being hot and sweaty
  • Feeling tired
  • Muscle tension
  • Getting upset and crying more than usual
  • Feeling irritable or grumpy
  • Uncontrollable worry

Things that can help:

  • Feed, rest and move your body: When there is a lot going on, it can be hard to focus on basic daily needs. Focusing on improving sleep, eating healthily and exercising will help with energy levels and ensure that your body gets what it needs.
  • Self- care: doing something that you enjoy doing, helps to take your mind off things.
  • Talk: speaking to friends, teachers and family can help…
  • Write: try writing down your worries
  • Challenge: Challenging any unhelpful thoughts can help to feel less anxious - watch the video below to help.
  • Be creative: draw, paint, colour, take pictures
  • Breathe: focused breathing can help reduce the heart rate, calming the mind and body
  • Grounding: grounding can help to connect to the present moment, when thoughts may feel as though they are spiralling out of control. It can help to interrupt those thoughts by focusing on the here and now.
  • Mindfulness and relaxation: this can help to reduce stress, anxiety and low mood. It can also help with concentration, self-esteem and confidence
  • Get support: if you feel that anxiety if affecting your everyday life, tell someone that your trust. If you are experiencing anxiety for a prolonged period of time, it may be useful to get some extra help. Professional support can help explore anxiety in more depth and find useful tools and techniques to make it feel more manageable.

More Information

Sometimes we might feel upset for a longer time than we thought we would, we might be getting angry with people when we didn’t mean to, or spend lots of time crying. If you are finding it hard to talk to family and friends about it, we can help.

565 Service offers a place to talk about our feelings, meet with other young people with similar stories and get some friendly advice on what can help after someone special dies.

It is a confidential service based at the hospice for children and young people aged 5 – 18 years old.

When people ring us, we normally arrange to meet them as family to talk about their loss and to find out ways of helping everyone feel better. When we meet with you, we agree a plan of what might help. This might include:

  • One to one sessions either at the hospice or in school. Session can also be online if you’d prefer
  • Joint sessions with other family members
  • Group support with other young people your age

For some people, just the first meeting is enough as it gives them a chance to talk about their feelings with other family members with the help of one of our team.

If you wanted to have a chat please call on 0300 3035196 or email emotionalwellbeing@stelizabethhospice.org.uk

Things other young people have said about our support:

“I gained more confidence and feel more comfortable talking about my problems.”

“I was able to talk about my problems in a safe space”

“I’ve learnt how to cope and to talk about mum”

“I am more accepting of my feelings and even though I didn’t think I needed it at first, it really did help”

“I like the fact that not only was I listened to, I was given useful suggestions on ways to cope”

“I felt supported in what I was going through and listened to. I felt that someone was there for me who really cared about how I was doing and what I was going through.”

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