When someone we love dies...

You might feel a lot of different emotions and find it hard to express yourself...

Everyone's reactions are different and their reactions normal.

There's no 'right' or 'wrong' way to grieve - but we are here to help you.

Click on the image to the left to find out more!

Remember to get your sleep, food and drink...

Make sure you get enough sleep each night, and eat and drink throughout the day can help us feel more comfortable. If you are tired and hungry you are likely to feel quite grumpy or upset:

You may feel worried about other family members...

Try and talk to people about your worries, it can really help to share them, you might find people have the same worries and are able to help you with answering questions

Click on the image to the left to find out how you could share your thoughts!

There are lots of books, films and websites that can help too...

Click on the picture to the left to find a list of websites you may find helpful.

Anxiety

Anxiety is a very normal feeling to experience when a loved one is unwell and after a loved one has died and at times this may feel very intense.

Anxiety is the brain’s way of alerting us that something isn’t quite right- a bit like an alarm system.

Some symptoms of anxiety are:

  • Heart beating faster
  • Chest feeling tight
  • Difficulties concentrating properly
  • Restlessness, fidgeting, not being able to keep still
  • Difficulties sleeping
  • Reduced appetite
  • Tummy ache or feelings sick
  • Headaches
  • Going to the toilet more frequently
  • Feeling dizzy or faint
  • Being hot and sweaty
  • Feeling tired
  • Muscle tension
  • Getting upset and crying more than usual
  • Feeling irritable or grumpy
  • Uncontrollable worry

Things that can help:

  • Feed, rest and move your body: When there is a lot going on, it can be hard to focus on basic daily needs. Focusing on improving sleep, eating healthily and exercising will help with energy levels and ensure that your body gets what it needs.
  • Self- care: doing something that you enjoy doing, helps to take your mind off things.
  • Talk: speaking to friends, teachers and family can help…
  • Write: try writing down your worries
  • Challenge: Challenging any unhelpful thoughts can help to feel less anxious - watch the video below to help.
  • Be creative: draw, paint, colour, take pictures
  • Breathe: focused breathing can help reduce the heart rate, calming the mind and body
  • Grounding: grounding can help to connect to the present moment, when thoughts may feel as though they are spiralling out of control. It can help to interrupt those thoughts by focusing on the here and now.
  • Mindfulness and relaxation: this can help to reduce stress, anxiety and low mood. It can also help with concentration, self-esteem and confidence
  • Get support: if you feel that anxiety if affecting your everyday life, tell someone that your trust. If you are experiencing anxiety for a prolonged period of time, it may be useful to get some extra help. Professional support can help explore anxiety in more depth and find useful tools and techniques to make it feel more manageable.

More Information

Sometimes we might feel upset for a longer time than we thought we would, we might be getting angry with people when we didn’t mean to, or spend lots of time crying. If you are finding it hard to talk to family and friends about it, we can help.

565 Service offers a place to talk about our feelings, meet with other young people with similar stories and get some friendly advice on what can help after someone special dies.

It is a confidential service based at the hospice for children and young people aged 5 – 18 years old.

When people ring us, we normally arrange to meet them as family to talk about their loss and to find out ways of helping everyone feel better. At the moment, because of the spread of coronavirus, we are not able to meet in person but can meet with you on a video call or speak on the telephone, whichever feels comfortable to you.

When we meet with you we agree a plan of what might help, this can be regular emotional support sessions at the hospice or at school (which is currently replaced by online and telephone support), family meetings, workshops and groups.

For some people, just the first meeting is enough as it gives them a chance to talk about their feelings with other family members with the help of one of counsellors.

If you wanted to have a chat please call on 01473 707999 or email emotionalwellbeing@stelizabethhospice.org.uk

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