Michelle Mergard – a daughter’s story

“Knowing Mum was in the safe hands of the hospice gave us such peace of mind. Having the 24/7 support of OneCall phone line was amazing, you just felt reassured knowing support was there whenever you needed it,” explained Michelle Mergard, whose mum, Steph Riddleston, received support from St Elizabeth Hospice’s Community Team until her death aged 65-years-old in July 2024.

Annually, St Elizabeth Hospice cares for more than 4,000 patients and their families throughout East & Mid-Suffolk, Great Yarmouth and Waveney. This care sees the independent Suffolk charity providing free services – whenever and wherever it is needed, whether at home, in the community or at the hospice – to those living with a progressive or life-limiting illness.

“Mum was just an incredible person and the best mum. She was so kind, loving and caring, with a wicked sense of humour, even through her struggles and especially in the last few weeks of her life.

“She lived in Bucklesham for 38 years, having grown up in Hollesley. For 25 years she worked as a cook at Bucklesham Primary School before becoming a one-to-one teaching assistant, a role she loved most of all.

“Outside of work, she enjoyed line dancing, cross-stitch and painting – creative pastimes which brought her joy and comfort, especially during her illness.

“Mum was diagnosed with bowel cancer and began receiving chemotherapy and radiotherapy, before having an operation in 2020 to remove her bowel and bladder, as well as a hysterectomy, due to the nature of her condition.

“Due to Covid-19 restrictions at the time, we were unable to visit her, so she spent a month in a London clinic on her own, which was really tough for us all.

“Her operation lasted 14 hours, and she then spent 48 hours in the intensive care unit before we finally got to speak to her by phone on her and Dad’s wedding anniversary. It was the best phone call I have ever had.

“Following this, she had to learn to walk again and faced a long road to recovery, but like the fighter she was, she never gave up.

“Unfortunately, the cancer returned in 2022 in her scar tissue, liver, bowel and spine. Over the next few years, Mum received treatment and spent time in hospital.

“However, over the May Bank Holiday in 2024, we were told there was no further support they could provide as her cancer had spread and we were referred to St Elizabeth Hospice.

“We met a hospice consultant who was just amazing. He calmly explained to Mum, and to all of us, what the next steps would be, always checking in to make sure she was ok and answering any questions we had.

“Mum received care from the hospice Community Team at her home, as that was where she wanted to be.

“In June, she lost the ability to walk, which left her bed bound. That’s when the hospice staff began visiting regularly – often twice a day – and towards the end of Mum’s life, they were coming three times a day.

“Each one of their team is like an angel in disguise – so kind and compassionate. The personal care they gave Mum was outstanding, washing and dressing her while always being respectful.

“They spoke to her with such dignity, making sure she was comfortable at all times. Even when she lost the ability to talk, they would speak to her as if she still could.

“It was incredibly sad but also wonderful to see and I knew she was receiving the best care possible.

“Mum developed a great bond with all the hospice staff who supported her. They also checked on me and Dad to see how we were doing – their care wasn’t only for the patient.

“For us as a family, the hospice team were that bit of light we needed when our world felt so dark.

“I was offered a 12-week counselling course with the hospice’s bereavement support service, LivingGrief. I can’t explain how amazing that was for me.

“I struggled to talk about Mum; to think about Mum and I couldn’t remember any good times I had with her. It felt like my brain was blocking it all.

“Talking with my counsellor made a big difference – finding the right strategies and talking through everything. I was actually really sad when it ended, but grateful for the positive impact it had on me.

“As a family, we are extremely grateful for the hospice. Without them I don’t know what situation we would have been in and Mum would not have had the dignified care she deserved.

“This is why I was inspired to fundraise for the charity and the brilliant services they provide. I wanted to challenge myself and show my support for St Elizabeth Hospice, so I took on the Summer Walk through London in 2025.

“I was so pleased to raise £1,131 for the charity in memory of Mum as part of the event, which saw me complete a marathon-length walk through the capital in 6 hours 48 minutes – ranking me 40th in the female category, which I was very proud of.

“The feeling was made even better as I crossed the finishing line holding Steffano the bear (pictured above). Steffano was Mum’s bear, given to her when she was first diagnosed with cancer – Steffano being the nickname my husband used for Mum.

“Originally, Steffano wore a jumper with ‘brave, strong, stubborn’ on it, but for the walk she wore one of Mum’s t-shirts, which we had made small to fit a teddy bear.

“It was really important that Steffano crossed the finish line with me; it felt like having Mum beside me every step of the way.

“St Elizabeth Hospice is such a special organisation, providing vital support to so many in our local community.

“I would encourage anyone to consider fundraising or volunteering for the hospice if they are able to. We never know when we might need the hospice’s support, but they are there for you and your family when you need them most. I know from my own experience how important this support is.

“The care and dedication they give to patients is immeasurable. Losing my Mum was something I never thought could happen to someone so young, but St Elizabeth Hospice helped my family and me through it and I will forever be grateful to them.”